tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-263279412024-03-07T20:16:01.657+02:00Z Lifezandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-86280165514812850762008-12-20T22:17:00.003+02:002008-12-20T22:26:15.920+02:00Z End :)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">I think this would be the end of this blog. Such an ubrupt end keda mesh 3arfa gat ezay with no mokademat. bs i think it's time to start over or start in a new page w no2ta w men awel el satr ba2a .. kefaya kda :))</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Let's have a<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> </span></span></span><a href="http://randomika.wordpress.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">fresh start</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></div>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-28383335418816887052007-12-16T01:02:00.000+02:002007-12-16T01:09:38.634+02:00Just a thought!Just an old thought that resurfaced recently, just thinking that life is much easier when there are ppl you can talk to, who can be your crying shoulder, and most importantly, ppl you whom you can rely on.<br />It's just is a lot easier when there are good friends around.zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-34902639594366278632007-09-06T02:31:00.000+02:002007-09-06T03:00:20.862+02:00Summer !?!<span style="font-family: verdana;">I'm finally glad that those heat waves are starting to fade out. Summer has been exhausting and overrated. Like every year summer had brought out the lazy, relaxed me again. But this year it was a little different. A little intense and blue. I really can't say i hated it, it was actually some sort of an eye opener to me. I learned a lot and had fun, had the break i planned and had the relaxation i needed and i hope i had enough. Although this summer hasn't ended yet but I feel like it has, and i feel that this year is already ending, like i feel it's already December and it's actually scaring me!!! </span><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">For the almost the first time in my life i was dreaded by a year ending and another beginning. It's the first time " this year's resolution" really means something to me. I always felt like these resolutions thing are reallly overrated. Every year ppl write their resolutions and I won't be surprised if they are the very same last year's resolutions like losing weight and working harder or reading more books!! This is the "overrated" resolution i'm talking about. That's why i hated it coz i really don't like being disappointed, and unless there's some drastic change i'm making to achieve at least one of these goals then this is just a waste of time. This year I really " need " to have a resolution, but i also don't know what drastic change i'm going to make. I don't think i want to change my lifestyle, except of course for leaving this laaaazy me back in the bubble, then me leaving the bubble :D and start my engines, or rather start over my life :D That's why i don't know what to write in this year's resolution. i have no idea what to do, but i so desperately want to know what to do! Surprisingly I know what i do not want to do. I don't want to get stuck in some routine life which is boring enough for me to even notice. I want to do something I want!! I simply want to be HAPPY! I don't want to be one of those ppl who are complaining all the time even when life is just almost perfect, or at least they don't even know what they are complaining about and they are just taken up by moods they don't even know where do they come from. I think part of this phobia is caused by movies and sit-coms, they are all talking about this drastic change that would happen one day, that sb who left their great job to pursue their dream and how they end up. they tell you how it ends up already!! and leave you to dread it or to fantasize about it! sometimes i wonder if that's the truth, and I usually find my mind telling me NO. Although it might be true for some ppl, but what makes me one of these ppl!! these ppl are like having extraordinary powers ! I used to believe that each one have this extraordinary power to do sth, sth that most ppl wud do as efficiently. But now i really am confused I don't know what to think anymore. </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">yaaaa rab atla3 mn el bubble 3la 7'eir w akteb el resolutions ba2a :D </span>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-87399515857191147732007-07-12T09:34:00.003+02:002009-04-05T14:46:18.888+02:00(I) Get LostThe song made me look back and realize that ppl don't see the situation from each other's eyes they just judge and expect. Expectations increase and get bigger and bigger, until one day you just look back and think this is not the person I liked, this is totally someone else. Then you just might forget why you liked them in the first place. It's just painful.<br /><br />The lyrics goes as follows;<br /><br /><p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">I’m sorry.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Why should I say I’m sorry? </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ">If I hurt you,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">You know you’ve hurt me too.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">But you get lost inside your tears,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">And there is nothing I can do,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">’cause I get lost inside my fear</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">That I am nothing without you.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">You’re angry.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Why shouldn’t you be angry? </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">With what we’ve been through,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Well I get angry too.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Chorus</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">’cause I am nothing without you.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Why should we have taken so long</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">To be looking inside of our mind? </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Everything we tried went wrong.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Are we worried ’bout what we might find? </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">I’m sorry,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">But can I say I’m sorry? </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">If I hurt you,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">You know it hurts me too.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">Chorus</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">And you get lost inside your tears,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">And there is nothing we can do,</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">’cause I get lost inside my fear</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">That I am nothing without you.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">’cause I am nothing without you.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">And I am nothing without you.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">’cause I am nothing without you.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; ;">’cause I am nothing without you.</p><br /><br />I only know the version of Eric Clapton, don't know if there are any other versions.zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-967332487231730032007-06-17T11:00:00.001+02:002007-06-17T11:20:37.125+02:00Google finally in Cairo!<style type="text/css">.flickr-photo { }.flickr-frame { float: right; text-align: center; margin-left: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; }</style><div class="flickr-frame"><br /><span class="flickr-caption"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mnadi/11026499/"><br /></a> </span></div>Saw this pic this morning and really made my day .. I loved the comment too :D This can so take the "only in Egypt" tag :D<br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;" ><br /><br />It's comment read: "I don't think this guy did any market research before opening in this neighborhood were not many people own a PC let alone interested in Google! "<br /></span><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="flickr-caption"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mnadi/11026499/">Google finally in Cairo!</a>,</span><br /><span class="flickr-caption">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/mnadi/">mnadi</a>.</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOYlQLO-3GNgjTk_YuAToNneWOGH1Zgsu0bqD52zO6TzSqucxbGOychBNmffmIkWvjlAwb5ivkSbbYFzhFJhllo7_upVwZb1HY893RR4LyOQv1LEKNOPnLEtODgd1Rod6Qqz6Z/s1600-h/publicidad1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 348px; height: 340px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOYlQLO-3GNgjTk_YuAToNneWOGH1Zgsu0bqD52zO6TzSqucxbGOychBNmffmIkWvjlAwb5ivkSbbYFzhFJhllo7_upVwZb1HY893RR4LyOQv1LEKNOPnLEtODgd1Rod6Qqz6Z/s400/publicidad1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076959280979104498" border="0" /></a></div>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-42696211249963637732007-06-16T02:07:00.000+02:002007-06-16T02:12:34.322+02:00If it makes You Happy...Just can't get it out of my head<br />the very same line repeats itself over and over again<br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(153, 51, 153); font-weight: bold;">If it makes you happy ; It can't be that bad! </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102); font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >Sheryl Crow</span><br /><br /><br /><p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">P.S.: With all the respect ya Sheryl :D bs i beg to differ :D </p>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-21142325811343246662007-06-15T23:34:00.000+02:002007-06-16T00:21:59.933+02:00The Happy Post :D<p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">mabda2yan keda da mesh happy post 7'ales :D .. it's just there has been a looot of funny responses i got about a post posted a couple of posts back keda :D<span style=""> </span>(ba7awel ma2olhash 10 marat )</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">The funny thing ba2a is that many ppl thought i was talking about them, some were surprised, some were like "eh da ", and some got offended. elly got offended dol ba2a ely da7akoony because it was a total joke between me and a friend and they really took it seriously and personally. I really didn't mean that w sorry ya3ni if anybody got offended bs most of the ppl who got offended didn't get the point. Anyway that's why it's funny for ppl cause kol elly 3la rashom bat7a came forward and called or made contact to know if i was talking about them cause i read what they wrote about a friend wla 7aga :Dtab3an mafeesh 7aga mn di 7asalet w I never<span style=""> </span>wud 've known aslan.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> It got hilarious ba2a for me when somebody thought i wrote that because sb did that to me and wrote sth about me and i read it .. LOL. ofcourse when i wrote it, it brought some memories of the sort, some of which might've been about me. But what really triggered this wasn't about me .. actually it was about a person "X" and they are not exactly my friend. I just happened to see sth offensive about them. As always i never thought those two ppl could know each other, bs they did :D it was like: that post is about "X" ? .. well yeah do you know them!! .. yeah used to :D .. :| .. tab3an they knew later that "X" isn't my friend bs still i refused offending ppl and we laughed about it and it was a joke w 7'alas :D ... well that person "X" is not really a friend actually i don't really like them anymore and i won't use the word hate just because i don't really care that much :D well they knew tab3an that the fact that this "X" is alive isn't really of interest bs my point was that i hate offending ppl and talking behind their backs.. i don't mean gossip, we all gossip (not like it's a good thing or ath) bs the idea in general sounds bad to me .. anyway tab3an ironically i found out that "X" was talking badly of me for some time now.<span style=""> </span></p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Anyway kol da<span style=""> </span>bardo 3shan ba2a 2a2ool what really surprised me is me bardo ( self centerd, ana 3arfa), i didn't regret it a bit that i refused the idea of talking badly about "X", it didn't feel like it was for "X", cause i really don't care about "X", bs it's the idea in general. I mean, writing this reminds me that i've always been like that, i once said it to a person whom i didn't know very well, "mateshtemsh el nas". I didn't know that person 7'aaaaales he was a friend of a friend of a friend , ya3ni bebasata el rad ykoon wenty malek aw 7'aleeky f nafsek aw simply simply simply yenfadly, bs i never liked the idea. bardo i don't mean gossip, we all gossip, it's not a good thing but it happens. bs i don't insult ppl , sa7ee7 i make it clear i don't like them bs i don't insult them w i don't talk badly of them infront of ppl who don't know them very well. bardo for the ppl who got offended ma3lesh :D 7'erha f 3'eirha , ma3 en mesh kolohom yestahlo bs w malo :D</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">bs the funny thing is that many ppl thought this was about them .. you know you can try this for fun every once in while .. it was really an eye-opener n kol wa7ed 3la raso bat7a :D you just have to know what kind of bat7a to trigger. :D </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">P.S. ya reit bardo el nas matensanash beda3awatha 3shan el sana lessa ma7'lsetsh w ya rab kol ely 3ando mashroo3 yegeeb imtiaz :D</p>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-76204376444816704302007-06-04T20:18:00.000+02:002007-06-04T21:24:10.321+02:00Dream... Dream, Dream, Dream!I've been wanting to write about this for while now but basically i didn't have enough time.. and although now i seem very busy with exams and projects and all, i really don't know how is it gonna be about a month from now. And no, this is not another piece about graduating and leaving and missing friends , of course all this crossed my mind and is true but it's not what i mean.<br />Surprisingly this thought didn't hit me except a month ago or so, not the thought of graduation of course, it's the thought of possibilities. when i thought about it before it always had this positive, hopeful vibe to it, like i can do what ever! But now it seems a little bit complicated, what is this "whatever" that i'm gonna do. which one will i choose ? why will i choose it? Will it make me happy? will i be successful doing this " whatever " i chose !? it really seems very complicated right now, confusing as well. I've always had those dreams, they were like three dreams, and now finishing college there is one other possibility i can choose. When i was young i thought those dreams will go away, that they were just part of growing up but they didn't! I mean everybody had dreams, like they wanted to be a singer or a painter or a journalist. and when you finish your studies and that you're just free to pursue any dream of those. What makes it complicated is that how do you know what will make you happy the most? which of those you will excel in?<br />i always believed if you like what you do you'll excel in it! but which of my dreams do I like most! and if i answered that question a bigger complication is there, which is if i actually did that will i still like it? if you wanted to be a painter for example, Yes maybe you like to paint but will paint for the rest of your life, will you take whatever painting throws at you, will you just paint for the sake of painting, have you made a pro and con list and Accepted the cons ???<br />then comes the next argument, if you wanted to be a singer for example, well may be you like singing, but that does not mean you can really sing, does it?! and if you think you can really sing, are you competent enough? To stand out from all the others you have to be different and in a good i assume. You have to have something special! Do you have it ?<br /><br />All those questions are just the, attacking me. They are even growing to be more bigger and more complicated. There always will be the very normal option which every body thinks about even i did when i chose this college. Applying what i've studied and working in what's supposedly to be my field. Of course this path also is subjected to all those questions.<br />I always liked possibilities, options. who doesn't? every thing we want in life we want it with more options and the more the better of course. And i've always knew what i wanted even with option , i knew exactly what options i wanted and which i didn't, or can do without . Now options just add a complication, adding more mystery and another insecurity to life. I don't hate those options yet :D I just want to make up mind and want an honest opinion.<br />I already made some decisions in my life already and i hope they are right! i just hope it wasn't just the safest escape :D<br />Well with all that said, i think it's not the first time i make a decision about my life, it's that options right now are many and they are kind of more important than before. Well again these might be the first Big and important decisions that will decide my life, but i think they will not be the last, even if i took any of those paths, there is no book to says what to do and where the road goes. so there will always be those decisions that i have to make but still i can not think of as many decisions and i don't think they will be for as many roads but there will always be a decision to make! We just hope the final decision is the right for us, it doesn't have to be right or wrong, it just have to be right for us, to make us happy and wanting to continue the journey, wherever the road goes, with all the obstacles and downs, and be ready for more and more decisions to make :Dzandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-59913328753007364812007-06-02T15:23:00.000+02:002007-06-02T15:34:03.498+02:00Blogs!!What is wrong with ppl ?! don't they know what blogs are? don't they realize they are on the internet ?!???<br />Well blogs aren't exactly a diary ? or at least that's how i see it. but i mean if you want to have a diary.. then have a diary :D have a notebook or have a file on your computer or have a one note document .. do what ever? but i just surprises me that ppl post stuff saying bad things about other ppl and they just don't think they're ever gonna find out?? What amazes me most ba2a is when they know the ppl they posted that about knew they said sth about them.. they are like " How did you know that ?!! " and they are very veryy surprised ??? what is that ? :D<br />i don't know what to consider that ? whether funny or stupid or juvenile or naive ??<br />well mostly it's just funny :D it's like they do not know this is the internet... which might be starnge to you but basically it means that anybody can see anything that you post on it :D<br />especially if it's on your blog :D<br />maybe this info was brand new to you ppl out there! but sadly that's the truth..<br />so face it :D<br />and don't be surprised the next time when you learn that sb knew what u said about them behind their back :D<br /><br />N.B. exams ba2a da mawdoo3 tany!! ya reit kol el nas ted3y l kol el nas elly 3andaha exams :Dzandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-56689061077170487932007-03-03T10:50:00.000+02:002007-03-03T11:03:37.342+02:00Another day!<p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">El mohem ba2a ever had those many feelings inside you fighting and conflicting all at the very same time !!! ???? It's really tiring. Feeling bad good and nice at the same time hateing somebody and irritated by somebody and grateful for somebody and liking somebody and falling in love with somebody else !! Alll at the very same time and they are all fresh and they all occupy you, you don't even know which one to concentrate on or which one to try hard to get rid of .. It's like hearing this piece of information which instantly made you feel really bad and really good at the very same time, it's almost the same but only it's not a simple piece of info it's a whole loads of comment and a lot of people, and although this day didn't make me more irritated and disgusted by the ppl who already disgust and irritate me, it didn't make me more grateful than I already did, it also didn't make me admire or like those ppl I like more than I already do, but it gave me a very strange mix of all those feelings put together.. Made me realize that maybe there is no bad day or good day it's all a mix, I never really believed in this I'm in a bad mood thing I always thought it's for losers and stupid ppl who either can't control their own mind or are just lazy and super dependent on others to take control over their mind!! It's your mood you can change it, I know that there are reasons to be angry and there are reasons to be sad but otherwise don't give me such lame excuses or stupid comments. That day that I've been boring you about also made me realize how being a good listener can sometimes payoff, I realized there are other ppl who care who can listen and care to listen, that nagging and complaining are not the only way ppl notice there's something wrong. Can't say that it was a bad day, although it had some moments I really felt bad and hating some ppl, but I can consider it a good day, maybe I'm extra optimistic but this is how I like it, I like it with an extra twist, extra caffeine and extra chocolate, it just makes life a little bit better. </p>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-62536299803298577222007-02-05T11:42:00.000+02:002007-02-05T11:43:58.186+02:00My crayons back please!!<p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Everything is almost tasteless without that person, that person whom you wake every morning hoping to see and talk to. You might not know that person quiet well, but still that doesn't make a difference at all, you still miss them like crazy, you still wake up every morning wishing to see them and have a little chit chat, you still see your life as colorful as new cartoon movie compared to your old tom and Jerry cartoon movie, you feel it's cartoon but missing it's colors. You just don't remember how your life were before them, all you remember is the colors they gave to your life, this fantasy world where everything is just settled by just having this little chitchat. Even if you don’t get to talk to them you just think that if you do, everything will be alright again. </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">I've been missing those colors for a while now, and although I'm not letting myself feel empty or feel alone I actually do, and that's what I hate most about loneliness, actually I don't mind being alone it's feeling lonely when there are tons of ppl around that really gets to me. I can’t believe that I've been going out every day and just getting very tired at the end of the day to the extent I just would lie on any chair and sleep, and still I manage to find the time to miss those colors of my life, I still manage to see my black and white life needing any ray of light to give it the shadow of any color, but it just couldn't, I don't know what this shadow could be, it could be anything, it could be a letter, an email, a message, a nudge on my msn, or even just a ring on my mobile accidentally or intentionally or whatever! I can't believe one can sound that desperate when they need some colors to their life.</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">And what's also interesting is that previously I thought those colors can be filled by characters, characters who know what it takes to be impressive, and colorful, but actually they don't. they contribute to give your life a little bit of illustrations and details, but they don't give color. I mean yesterday I met a friend and he's one of the ppl I really feel comfortable coz they give you that assurance everything is ok, I'm here, and therefore by default you don't have to worry and they just don't say it they act it which intensifies the effect to ten time almost, I'm not talking here about if you really can stop worrying or not, but it's just the feeling of being taken care of. These are the details they add to your life they add quality, they add a sense of security, a sense of care you lacked a long time ago; but yet, they can't fill the emptiness of those little colors which you desperately need to enjoy you cartoon movie, i.e. you're life.. </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;"> </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">I just want my crayons back, or better yet, you have the crayons, then plz come back and give me some colors!! </p>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-14897329528590873922007-01-29T16:45:00.000+02:002007-01-29T19:24:08.310+02:00Feb 1 for the environment - dim the lightsI don't know if this is true or not but i like the idea of just reminding everybody of our mother earth and how we are treating it so badly and we just think "this small contribution won't do a thing," but actually it does.. i just think it's more powerful if we think of something which is not as clean as electricity.. at least it's renewable :D unlike many of our precious resources that we just misuse and over consume daily like oil, water, or gas.<br /><br />"<br />Make our planet rest for five minutes!<br /><br />Everybody is requested to dim his/her lights for five<br />minutes between 7.55pm<br />and 8.00pm on February first. This not only to save<br />energy for five minutes,<br />but to bring out a message that will attract the<br />attention of politicians<br />and<br />leaders. It is time for them to take action and avoid<br />the waste of energy.<br /><br />During 5 minutes we'll give the planet rest: it<br />doesn't take long and it<br />won't cost you a thing. And it will make a statement<br />before federal<br />elections<br />that we as citizens want climate on the agenda.<br /><br />And why February 1st?<br /><br />Because on that day a new file from climatological<br />experts from the United<br />Nations will be published in Paris. Because it is with<br />our neighbors it is<br />impossible to let this opportunity slip! We have to<br />get attention to the<br />urgent matter of the worlds climatological situation.<br />If everybody takes<br />part<br />in this action it will have an effect on media and<br />politics that might have<br />a<br />real influence, this would be good on such short<br />notice before the (Belgian)<br />elections! "zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-71470226739198097252007-01-20T15:50:00.000+02:002007-01-20T16:26:44.874+02:00You had a bad day :DToday was one of the strangest days, I just happen to surprise myself sometimes . I don't know if I'm feeling down with no obvious reason than this bad mood that hits me sometimes.. or have it really been a bad day.. I'm an optimist, so let's consider it a good day with some bad complications and beginnings.. well id didn't start good in the first place .. it didn't start bad either, let's say it started normal with a tendency to be bad, I had an exam too, which wasn't bad but it was weird i didn't feel very good after it, didn't know exactly why i didn't do that bad. Then i thought i heard some bad news, I think he's not gonna be here next year. I don't know.. and another thing is that how could I not know ... how could he not tell me if it's something about him... i mean, WHAT?!!<br />and the thing is i kinda asked him before but i was just being curious, didn't think it would be him this time. I hate it, i hate that i'm not even sure what to think!! so that's the second thing, third is that i have an exam in less than 48 hours!! what's this high school!! also this creature!! well i don't wanna talk about that coz thank God i'm away from this.. i don't wanna mention it coz i get irritated and just pity her when i don't want to but i can do nothing but pity her... God help those with troubled minds and troubled hearts, that's all i'm saying here. Also my best friend .. the gap is just filling more and more i mean in a few months i will have different ppl differnt things or i don't know may be not, but my friend, they already do have new ppl, just reminds me of freshman year i thought i could never lose those school friends and we'll keep in touch but it's just hard you know, the things that are becoming not in common are increasing by the day!!<br />the thing is ba2a is that like 2 days ago i was really thinking this crush is about to be over it's on it's down curve now.. i don't know if this is true or not but i know the curve , even on it's way down it's much closer to it's peak.<br /><br />well have to deal with the crisis and im feeling much better now, so gotta go al7a2ly kelmtein yenfa3oony in my next exam :D<br /><br />Rabena ye3een el gameeeee3 :Dzandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-59120987416869600602007-01-12T20:30:00.000+02:002007-01-12T20:41:07.398+02:00Stressed Out!!It's Exam time....<br />i never used to panic before exams, but, well, things change.. it's just becoming too much, or I'm just becoming a little bit lazier every year. the thing that bothers me most or actually make me wonder and think that sometimes i really can stray and be this very irrational person, is why do i miss him, why i just need him to be here i know he has a lot to do and i know exactly what he's doing and i don't have much free time to think about him but i actually do!! why can't I be rational about him as well, I've always been rational about everything even how my heart works, i know exactly if that person is right for me of not, i know exactly when my heart goes wrong and accidentally falls for the wrong person. But now, all i know it's just a big mess, i don't even know what i want anymore. i know that when i'm panicking or stressed just the familiar voice of a true friend really helps, just knowing that they are there also helps although i might be almost sure they won't do a thing or help me do anything but it's just some kind of assurance that i need.<br />May be that's just another form of needing to be assured and secured!!.. I hope it's just that.<br />Anyway, bad timing as usual.<br />hoping everybody very good luck with everything , esp. exams ;)zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-22754032190624428352006-12-27T16:38:00.000+02:002006-12-27T16:49:45.068+02:00Just for the record!!Well this is a wake up call for me before it's an update to anybody else. A few days ago a horrific accident happened to me. i won't say what it is not because i don't want you to know as much as i don't want ME to know or remember it, i just want to remind my self of this so as to be careful all the time and to have this safe feeling only to keep me living, i remember at that particular time i very much needed a shoulder to cry on and somebody i could trust, somebody who would just tell me everything is gonna be <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">OK</span> and <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">I'm</span> gonna take care of everything else, somebody i can even trust with my life, not only because they care for me but also because they have the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">right</span> mind i can rely on and i can be almost sure they will <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">definitely</span> do the right thing for me.<br /><br />Well this is still the happiest time for of the year, Christmas time, so i really would like to enjoy it.<br /><br />God bless :Dzandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-91031294825966193422006-12-14T20:21:00.000+02:002006-12-14T20:48:59.569+02:00WE wish you a Merry X-mas and a Happy new year!!I just LOVE this time of year, it's just beautiful. I love everything about it, the weather the atmosphere, the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ppl</span>, even shopping at this time is lovely. i love seeing those beautiful trees every year with their beautiful warm and colourful lights, they just make me feel all warm and cozy again, they even take me to a time were everything was beautiful and i really felt the warmth of a family and <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ppl</span> who loved no matter what. It's this time and only this time that makes me imagine and even believe that the so-called family warmth still exist. Every year at this time i imagine this beautiful room with the old fireplace decorated with those colourful socks and candies and the Christmas tree beside it decorated and lit, with presents and boxes lying under it. it's just a very warm picture that makes me smile, i could even here those favourite <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">christmas</span> tunes like Jingle bells and Santa Claus us coming to town. it was just a dream a couple of years ago but now i think i can believe it's possible. Moving to <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">maadi</span> reminded me of this beautiful picture before it fades away. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Ppl</span> here really celebrate Christmas, at this time of year if you look up in any of the beautiful Cairo nights you can see a warm light coming from any window and the moment you look at it you just feel it's Christmas time, you see the Christmas tree beautifully and fully decorated with presents beside it, or even just some glitter here and there which remained from the decoration hassle. I don't really like this new year thing and those silly resolutions (I'm not really pessimistic i just don't like those stupid decisions that <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ppl</span> take and they just forget about, just makes the whole year meaningless to me !!) But I'm really excited about Christmas.. and yes Christmas although i have nothing to relate to it except those memories and this dream, but it's just that big of a symbol to me that i refuse to give up or forget or even replace, i partly hate that i can't relate this to any of our feasts but i don't feel very wrong feeling that warm towards that time of year.. it's just my favourite. :D<br /><br />Merry Christmas...<br /><br />keep dreaming and never lose the faith...zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-49638365597685214662006-12-07T00:09:00.000+02:002006-12-15T00:52:32.453+02:00Waiting...<p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Always waiting for this unusual thing or word or person.. just waiting, wishing and hoping </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">the next moment will just change my life. Just like in a movie when this super beautiful</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">actress meets that handsome guy and, no it's not that they live happily ever after, </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">their life just changes forever and they face everything together.. well i'm not </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">waiting for that handsome guy.. it's not exactly my dream. or maybe it is! </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">but what i'm sure of; is that i wake up everyday waiting for that moment, i don't know if</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">it's gonna be good or bad, happy or sad, i have no idea and i don't want one, </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">i just want it to be a surprise, although i hate surprises, but i want it to be a memory</p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">and important memory, which i remember many years after and say from that moment </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">my life was totally different and i became the person i am now!! </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">will that moment ever come true. will that person be the person i wish to be!! </p> <p style="margin: 0in; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;">i really have no clue! but i hope it's gonna come true one day..</p>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-23748075130541926792006-12-04T20:55:00.000+02:002006-12-04T21:07:41.672+02:00<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;" lang="AR-EG"></span></b></span></div><p dir="rtl" style="text-align: justify;">This is a part of a long piece which i found putting a lot of my current pondrings to words, i never found an answer to these ponderings, and I don't know if i am ever to find ones but it's kinda relieving just to find the exact words describing them. I think it's representing a lot of ppl's wonders as well. Here's the part I most liked of the piece :D <br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;" lang="AR-EG"></span></b></span></p><p dir="rtl" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;" lang="AR-EG"><br /></span></b></span></p><p dir="rtl" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;" lang="AR-EG">و لا اجد اجابة عن هذه السؤال المحير ....... لماذا انت من دون الاخرين ......هل كان لدى حقا اختيار .....فهل اخترك أنا؟ .... ام اخترتنى انت؟ ام كان<span> </span>اختيار مسبق<span> </span>لادخل لنا فيه ......رتبه القدر ....و استجابنا له......مذعنين!</span></b></span></p> <p dir="rtl" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;" lang="AR-EG"> </span></b></span></p> <p dir="rtl" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;" lang="AR-EG">وأنا اذ اندهش .....فدهشتى من نفسى..... حين اكتشف مرور الوقت و انا افكر فيك ...... و اتعجب اكثر حين اسمع صوتى يجيبك ان مكانى<span> </span>ما هو الا اى مكان تكن انت فيه ........و انى - اخيرا - اجد موطنى حين تضمنى اليك ..... بدون <span> </span>تاشيرة دخولى سوى لمسة رقيقة من يديك .......تجذبنى بها اليك لاستكين<span> </span>بجوار قلبك....سعيدة!!</span></b></span></p> written by:<b><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"> Nagwane Refaat</span></span></b> <p dir="ltr" style="direction: ltr; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><br /></span></span></b></p>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-32373613111317222532006-12-03T23:32:00.000+02:002006-12-03T23:34:31.249+02:00What Zodiac Sign Should You Be?<p>The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're a SCORPIO. You're just like a water sign, which comes out in the way you're so in tune with your emotions and your intuitions. Your symbol is a scorpion, which represents your secretive nature and your ability to emit a powerful poison when vengeful. A bundle of contradictions, you have the ability to demonstrate both the best and worst qualities that characterize human nature. Generally, you are intense and passionate, yet stubborn and competitive. You use your intuition fearlessly, and you have a tendency to explore the nature of existence through the study of philosophy and religion. Although it is difficult for you to trust others, whenever you finally do, the result is deep and powerful. On the downside, however, you must work hard to suppress your jealousy. Your dedication, drive, and persistence will guarantee you success, and you are known and respected for your imagination and idealism.</p> <p class="emode">Some famous Scorpios: </p><ul class="emode"><li>Prince Charles </li><li>Grace Kelly </li><li>Charles Manson </li><li>Kurt Vonnegut </li><li>Pablo Picasso</li></ul>zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-1163966830698181582006-11-19T21:21:00.000+02:002006-11-19T22:07:11.063+02:00Lonely w alone w kol 7aga!!Never felt I needeed someone, always felt I can do it alone, <br />But as I grew up I felt that I can't so it alone, or as paulo coelo said, all the universe conspires to make me feel that I can't do it, or maybe that’s the truth I should have realized years ago. I never needed a brother more than now and what makes matters worse that I have a deep feeling that this is not gonna be the only time. I'm always gonna feel alone abandoned and behind. Behind and there's no way for me for catching up. I just can't move on or forward . And who's that who's gonna be that knight in shining armor even if he's my brother, what's he gonna do when all the ppl who are responsible and suppised to love me and take care of me just simply don't. what I don't get it why???? <br />I never asked why I always thought it's over, or it's gonna be over soon. But actually it never is. everything is just harder than before, everything gets worse and worse. <br />Why does he do that? <br />Why am I do alone? <br />Why can't I find any help? <br />It's like a desert with the feeling of war.. Waiting for it but not knowing where is it or who is fighting or what I'm gonna do, just waiting. <br />Is it soo difficult I just need somebody to tell me don't worry it's gonna be ok it's gonna be alright, I don't need him to stand up for me I just want him to be there beside me holding me before I fall. Is that too much to ask.. Too much to want! Is it me who's building the wall or is it them who are standing so far from me!! NOBODY can make me feel small or helpless, I'm not small and I'm not helpless, I am not helpless. I can do what ever I want. I don't know what should I feel or what should I do, I don't even have anybody to help or tell me what to do! How to react and how to stand for me!! So hard to feel that everything is being cruel to you and you just can't do anything about it!!zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-1163709148815677722006-11-16T22:21:00.001+02:002006-11-16T22:32:28.826+02:00ana magnoona??A poem that really inspired and touched me. I read it at a time when i really felt it coz everything around me was going crazy, and what i was feeling was even crazier, actually crazier than ever!! So i dedicate it to the person who gave me all those crazy thoughts and drove me that crazy.. Enjoooooooooy. <br /><br />أنا مجنونه؟<br /> <br />بقي أنا مجنونه؟.........وأنا كلي عذوبه !<br /> <br />أيه يعني لما ألبس هندي<br />واركب علي ظهر الفيل البمبي<br />وأجري وأروح علي غاندي..!<br /> <br />أبقي مجنونه؟<br /> <br />أيه يعني لما أحلم بالقصر<br />وفرسان كتير مليه مصر<br />وملك شاعر في عينيه النصر<br /> <br />أبقي مجنونه؟<br /> <br />ايه يعني لما أحلم بالغابه<br />والأسد الحامي يبص لي ويتغابه<br />وغزاله جميله تبربش لي بعيون رحاله<br />والنمر يبحلق ويسمي ويقول فتاكه<br />وطيور الحب تغني وتنده لك ألحقها...غرقانه<br /> <br /> أبقي مجنونه؟<br /> <br />ايه يعني لما أحلم بالكوخ<br />والرجل الأخضر.. في عيونه أدوخ<br />ورسايل حبك توصلني ..طاخ..طوخ<br />وساعتهاأرقص وأغني وأنا كلي رضوخ<br /> <br />أبقي مجنونه؟<br /> <br />ايه يعني لما أحلم بالجّنه<br />وأتوه في الحلم وأتحنّه<br />أنا راجعه مهما أتعنّي<br />أفرش حضنك ألقي الجنّه..!<br /> <br />أبقي مجنونه؟<br /> <br />ده أنا مفتونه<br />أنا دايما بحلم بجنون..وجنوني ده بقي كله فنون<br /> <br />لسه شايفني مجنونه؟<br /> <br /> <br />Written by: Somaya soliman (9\11\06)zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-1154473348086877742006-08-02T00:44:00.000+02:002006-08-23T16:41:33.203+02:00Just Another Thought !!!I really have been missing you all day, well that's normal. I've always missed scents i liked but I never remember them, only when i smell them again I remember I've always loved them, and to give you a closer picture, if I tried to remember how a rose smells, I simply won't, see I didn't, but suddenly I now remembered your scent just now (and that's what's not normal), I just smelled it as if you are across that very same room and I had this needing urge to go across the room to enjoy it more. Now what does that signify? Does that mean I love you? I don't think so, I don't think i believe in love in the first place, at least not for me. So yesterday was a good day, nobody I didn't want to see did show up and nobody i DID want to see and talk to didn't have the chance to see ,if you know what I mean ;). Well have to reboot, have this major problem with mcAfee, seems nothing is ever perfect, or at least behaving properly.zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-1153429324497584192006-07-20T23:01:00.000+02:002006-07-20T23:02:04.503+02:00<A HREF='http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5533/2755/640/70.jpg'><IMG SRC='http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5533/2755/320/70.jpg' border=0 alt='' style='clear:all;float:left;margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; cursor:hand'></A> <br />It was a very nice day but after he left i really felt empty and i do remember how i felt i felt hollow and empty, felt that i need to be complete again. it's not always how i feel but i don't know is that a trend or what why am i acting soo weird? <br />I don't know what's gotten into me! Am i overreacting . Or is it me missing that feeling, missing attention, missing understanding, Oh i really miss being understood, i really miss good talks, and actually I don't remember ever having a shoulder to cry on. I miss a friend, a sister, a brother. I need a listener, somebody who asks the right question the right time, somebody who cares. or at least seem to care. just writing this brought tears to my eyes not because i'm in a bad mood, but just trying to remember when did i ever had a friend brought huge pain to my heart, as i didn't remember. I used to think i had a problem with me, but now seeing the ppl who really get attention and looking at the attention they get, i just refuse to be that stupid person who just babbles all the time, nags if they break a nail or complains for unspecified reasons in front of ppl they barely know about stupid stuff and because they are ppl who don't know they think it's big when in reality, it's really not. Whenever I see this attitude it just makes me sick, it's just soo lame. And looking from the other side, looking at the kind they get it just made me more and more hate that picture and hate those ppl and never want this kind of attention. Well the attention is as lame as the whining, they are just very stupid naive ppl who are just stupid follower, who don't think, i can't even say that they can't think coz actually i think they can, they're just too lazy to think, they have the fuss to babble about, so why think of another cause to worry about. <br />Well i never liked being pitied and of course every body would love to feel smart but i would better earn it not by a stupid way of giving the illusion of being smart and then disappointing those ppl and really make them think i'm not worth it. I hate those big mouths, i hate lameness, i hate stupidity. i mean if you're smart enough to make ppl think you're smart, then why the hell don't you keep faking it and start being it!!! <br />Yesterday i missed my show because of no friends actually i wanted to go and i could go but i had other reasons not to attend although i didn't get what i wanted, i mean he wanted me to offer but com'on, since when have the girls been the ones who offer, if the girl is the one who would offer then what is it that the guy should do, be the wallet, come on, i doesn't work out that way!! <a href='http://picasa.google.com/blogger/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif' alt='Posted by Picasa' style='border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;' align='middle' border='0' /></a> zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-1148926014776833542006-05-29T20:05:00.000+02:002006-05-29T20:06:54.786+02:00The Trouble With Love Is...Love can be a many splendored thing<br />Can't deny the joy it brings<br />A dozen roses, diamond rings<br />Dreams for sale and fairy tales<br />It'll make you hear a symphony<br />And you just want the world to see<br />But like a drug that makes you blind,<br />It'll fool ya every time<br /><br />The trouble with love is<br />It can tear you up inside<br />Make your heart believe a lie<br />It's stronger than your pride<br />The trouble with love is<br />It doesn't care how fast you fall<br />And you can't refuse the call<br />See, you got no say at all<br /><br />Now I was once a fool, it's true<br />I played the game by all the rules<br />But now my world's a deeper blue<br />I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too<br />I swore I'd never love again<br />I swore my heart would never mend<br />Said love wasn't worth the pain<br />But then I hear it call my name<br /><br />(The trouble with) The trouble with love is<br />It can tear you up inside<br />Make your heart believe a lie<br />It's stronger than your pride<br />The trouble with love is<br />It doesn't care how fast you fall<br />And you can't refuse the call<br />See, you got no say at all<br /><br />Every time I turn around<br />I think I've got it all figured out<br />My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'<br />Over and over again<br />This sad story always ends the same<br />Me standin' in the pourin' rain<br />It seems no matter what I do<br />It tears my heart in two<br /><br />(The trouble with love is) The trouble with love, yeah<br />(It can tear you up inside) It can tear you up inside<br />(Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie<br />It's stronger than your pride<br /><br />(The trouble with love is)<br />It's in your heart<br />It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall)<br />You won't get no control<br />(and you can't refuse the call)<br />See, you got no say at all<br /><br />(The trouble with love is) Oh, yeah<br />(It can tear you up inside)<br />(Make your heart believe a lie)zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26327941.post-1147476027974238952006-05-13T00:53:00.000+02:002006-05-13T01:21:04.563+02:00WHY?!?!Suddenly it's hard to control.. suddenly i'm the best thing i ever do is waste time... even i'm feeling very guilty about it.. i still do it. Why am i suddenly out of choices.. is it really that the world is closing up on me? or is it just me locking myself in my own bubble? .. why do i have those times when i really feel that i need someone there when i never did before? And who is that someone i'm waiting for? i know nobody will be upto my expectations .. even if they are upto my expectations i won't like it.. in fact i wud just hate it... who wud like a person who's totally figured out ? it's just so lame.. and if i'm not waiting then will i stay alone forever? is this my destiny to live in my solitude? just thinking of the idea scares me. Although i'm never afraid of being alone, but just the thought of staying that way for the rest of my life is kinda scary. what scares me more right now is how distant i am from myself.. i know i'm there isn't a bunch of ppl arguing in my head, i know it's just one girl.. who's mysterious enough to make me intimidated and confused. she' so distant that i feel i don't even know her or know how she thinks or how she feels or even who she really is? <br />one moment she's miss independant.. and another she is this miss romantic wanna be? or miss gurlish wanna be or anything that's sooo not me. And in all this mess what i'm reallly concerned about; is those ppl i'm hurting along the way.. those ppl i'm messing whith their lives. who am i to mess up thier life like this, to evter it just to leave it wrecked and empty ? I really never mean to do that but it just seems that i was born to do it. ever since i was born i've been messing ppl's lives, so why stop now. maybe that's why i'm " extra sweet and nice ", i reallly don't want to hurt anybody.. but don't wanna be a loner and i'm not? i mean i don't like my life with nobody in it and i don't like ppl ruining my life.. but at the same life we can't live in this world without affecting each other !! What a MESS !!!<br />i know if anybody read this might think i'm a sketzo, a lunatic.. or maybe even a freak. you might not understand what was reallly bothering me or what exactly i'm talking about! Well it's not always like that it's just that i wanted to write coz i had so much on my mind i had ro clear it off.. these were just some of the wonders that usually cross my mind and i never find an answer to them.. so i hope i wud find the answer one day.<br />Last but not least.. for that special person out there i really miss you a lot and i just wanna tell you there might not be that much of a time as you think, so take some action and don't wait that long coz that might be your last chance, or may be mine!!zandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06275158112946772773noreply@blogger.com0