Just a thought!

Just an old thought that resurfaced recently, just thinking that life is much easier when there are ppl you can talk to, who can be your crying shoulder, and most importantly, ppl you whom you can rely on.
It's just is a lot easier when there are good friends around.

Summer !?!

I'm finally glad that those heat waves are starting to fade out. Summer has been exhausting and overrated. Like every year summer had brought out the lazy, relaxed me again. But this year it was a little different. A little intense and blue. I really can't say i hated it, it was actually some sort of an eye opener to me. I learned a lot and had fun, had the break i planned and had the relaxation i needed and i hope i had enough. Although this summer hasn't ended yet but I feel like it has, and i feel that this year is already ending, like i feel it's already December and it's actually scaring me!!!
For the almost the first time in my life i was dreaded by a year ending and another beginning. It's the first time " this year's resolution" really means something to me. I always felt like these resolutions thing are reallly overrated. Every year ppl write their resolutions and I won't be surprised if they are the very same last year's resolutions like losing weight and working harder or reading more books!! This is the "overrated" resolution i'm talking about. That's why i hated it coz i really don't like being disappointed, and unless there's some drastic change i'm making to achieve at least one of these goals then this is just a waste of time. This year I really " need " to have a resolution, but i also don't know what drastic change i'm going to make. I don't think i want to change my lifestyle, except of course for leaving this laaaazy me back in the bubble, then me leaving the bubble :D and start my engines, or rather start over my life :D That's why i don't know what to write in this year's resolution. i have no idea what to do, but i so desperately want to know what to do! Surprisingly I know what i do not want to do. I don't want to get stuck in some routine life which is boring enough for me to even notice. I want to do something I want!! I simply want to be HAPPY! I don't want to be one of those ppl who are complaining all the time even when life is just almost perfect, or at least they don't even know what they are complaining about and they are just taken up by moods they don't even know where do they come from. I think part of this phobia is caused by movies and sit-coms, they are all talking about this drastic change that would happen one day, that sb who left their great job to pursue their dream and how they end up. they tell you how it ends up already!! and leave you to dread it or to fantasize about it! sometimes i wonder if that's the truth, and I usually find my mind telling me NO. Although it might be true for some ppl, but what makes me one of these ppl!! these ppl are like having extraordinary powers ! I used to believe that each one have this extraordinary power to do sth, sth that most ppl wud do as efficiently. But now i really am confused I don't know what to think anymore.


yaaaa rab atla3 mn el bubble 3la 7'eir w akteb el resolutions ba2a :D

(I) Get Lost

The song made me look back and realize that ppl don't see the situation from each other's eyes they just judge and expect. Expectations increase and get bigger and bigger, until one day you just look back and think this is not the person I liked, this is totally someone else. Then you just might forget why you liked them in the first place. It's just painful.

The lyrics goes as follows;

I’m sorry.

Why should I say I’m sorry?

If I hurt you,

You know you’ve hurt me too.

But you get lost inside your tears,

And there is nothing I can do,

’cause I get lost inside my fear

That I am nothing without you.

You’re angry.

Why shouldn’t you be angry?

With what we’ve been through,

Well I get angry too.

Chorus

’cause I am nothing without you.

Why should we have taken so long

To be looking inside of our mind?

Everything we tried went wrong.

Are we worried ’bout what we might find?

I’m sorry,

But can I say I’m sorry?

If I hurt you,

You know it hurts me too.

Chorus

And you get lost inside your tears,

And there is nothing we can do,

’cause I get lost inside my fear

That I am nothing without you.

’cause I am nothing without you.

And I am nothing without you.

’cause I am nothing without you.

’cause I am nothing without you.

I only know the version of Eric Clapton, don't know if there are any other versions.

Google finally in Cairo!

Saw this pic this morning and really made my day .. I loved the comment too :D This can so take the "only in Egypt" tag :D


It's comment read: "I don't think this guy did any market research before opening in this neighborhood were not many people own a PC let alone interested in Google! "

Google finally in Cairo!,
originally uploaded by mnadi.

If it makes You Happy...

Just can't get it out of my head
the very same line repeats itself over and over again

If it makes you happy ; It can't be that bad!
Sheryl Crow

P.S.: With all the respect ya Sheryl :D bs i beg to differ :D

The Happy Post :D

mabda2yan keda da mesh happy post 7'ales :D .. it's just there has been a looot of funny responses i got about a post posted a couple of posts back keda :D (ba7awel ma2olhash 10 marat )

The funny thing ba2a is that many ppl thought i was talking about them, some were surprised, some were like "eh da ", and some got offended. elly got offended dol ba2a ely da7akoony because it was a total joke between me and a friend and they really took it seriously and personally. I really didn't mean that w sorry ya3ni if anybody got offended bs most of the ppl who got offended didn't get the point. Anyway that's why it's funny for ppl cause kol elly 3la rashom bat7a came forward and called or made contact to know if i was talking about them cause i read what they wrote about a friend wla 7aga :Dtab3an mafeesh 7aga mn di 7asalet w I never wud 've known aslan.

It got hilarious ba2a for me when somebody thought i wrote that because sb did that to me and wrote sth about me and i read it .. LOL. ofcourse when i wrote it, it brought some memories of the sort, some of which might've been about me. But what really triggered this wasn't about me .. actually it was about a person "X" and they are not exactly my friend. I just happened to see sth offensive about them. As always i never thought those two ppl could know each other, bs they did :D it was like: that post is about "X" ? .. well yeah do you know them!! .. yeah used to :D .. :| .. tab3an they knew later that "X" isn't my friend bs still i refused offending ppl and we laughed about it and it was a joke w 7'alas :D ... well that person "X" is not really a friend actually i don't really like them anymore and i won't use the word hate just because i don't really care that much :D well they knew tab3an that the fact that this "X" is alive isn't really of interest bs my point was that i hate offending ppl and talking behind their backs.. i don't mean gossip, we all gossip (not like it's a good thing or ath) bs the idea in general sounds bad to me .. anyway tab3an ironically i found out that "X" was talking badly of me for some time now.

Anyway kol da bardo 3shan ba2a 2a2ool what really surprised me is me bardo ( self centerd, ana 3arfa), i didn't regret it a bit that i refused the idea of talking badly about "X", it didn't feel like it was for "X", cause i really don't care about "X", bs it's the idea in general. I mean, writing this reminds me that i've always been like that, i once said it to a person whom i didn't know very well, "mateshtemsh el nas". I didn't know that person 7'aaaaales he was a friend of a friend of a friend , ya3ni bebasata el rad ykoon wenty malek aw 7'aleeky f nafsek aw simply simply simply yenfadly, bs i never liked the idea. bardo i don't mean gossip, we all gossip, it's not a good thing but it happens. bs i don't insult ppl , sa7ee7 i make it clear i don't like them bs i don't insult them w i don't talk badly of them infront of ppl who don't know them very well. bardo for the ppl who got offended ma3lesh :D 7'erha f 3'eirha , ma3 en mesh kolohom yestahlo bs w malo :D

bs the funny thing is that many ppl thought this was about them .. you know you can try this for fun every once in while .. it was really an eye-opener n kol wa7ed 3la raso bat7a :D you just have to know what kind of bat7a to trigger. :D

P.S. ya reit bardo el nas matensanash beda3awatha 3shan el sana lessa ma7'lsetsh w ya rab kol ely 3ando mashroo3 yegeeb imtiaz :D

Dream... Dream, Dream, Dream!

I've been wanting to write about this for while now but basically i didn't have enough time.. and although now i seem very busy with exams and projects and all, i really don't know how is it gonna be about a month from now. And no, this is not another piece about graduating and leaving and missing friends , of course all this crossed my mind and is true but it's not what i mean.
Surprisingly this thought didn't hit me except a month ago or so, not the thought of graduation of course, it's the thought of possibilities. when i thought about it before it always had this positive, hopeful vibe to it, like i can do what ever! But now it seems a little bit complicated, what is this "whatever" that i'm gonna do. which one will i choose ? why will i choose it? Will it make me happy? will i be successful doing this " whatever " i chose !? it really seems very complicated right now, confusing as well. I've always had those dreams, they were like three dreams, and now finishing college there is one other possibility i can choose. When i was young i thought those dreams will go away, that they were just part of growing up but they didn't! I mean everybody had dreams, like they wanted to be a singer or a painter or a journalist. and when you finish your studies and that you're just free to pursue any dream of those. What makes it complicated is that how do you know what will make you happy the most? which of those you will excel in?
i always believed if you like what you do you'll excel in it! but which of my dreams do I like most! and if i answered that question a bigger complication is there, which is if i actually did that will i still like it? if you wanted to be a painter for example, Yes maybe you like to paint but will paint for the rest of your life, will you take whatever painting throws at you, will you just paint for the sake of painting, have you made a pro and con list and Accepted the cons ???
then comes the next argument, if you wanted to be a singer for example, well may be you like singing, but that does not mean you can really sing, does it?! and if you think you can really sing, are you competent enough? To stand out from all the others you have to be different and in a good i assume. You have to have something special! Do you have it ?

All those questions are just the, attacking me. They are even growing to be more bigger and more complicated. There always will be the very normal option which every body thinks about even i did when i chose this college. Applying what i've studied and working in what's supposedly to be my field. Of course this path also is subjected to all those questions.
I always liked possibilities, options. who doesn't? every thing we want in life we want it with more options and the more the better of course. And i've always knew what i wanted even with option , i knew exactly what options i wanted and which i didn't, or can do without . Now options just add a complication, adding more mystery and another insecurity to life. I don't hate those options yet :D I just want to make up mind and want an honest opinion.
I already made some decisions in my life already and i hope they are right! i just hope it wasn't just the safest escape :D
Well with all that said, i think it's not the first time i make a decision about my life, it's that options right now are many and they are kind of more important than before. Well again these might be the first Big and important decisions that will decide my life, but i think they will not be the last, even if i took any of those paths, there is no book to says what to do and where the road goes. so there will always be those decisions that i have to make but still i can not think of as many decisions and i don't think they will be for as many roads but there will always be a decision to make! We just hope the final decision is the right for us, it doesn't have to be right or wrong, it just have to be right for us, to make us happy and wanting to continue the journey, wherever the road goes, with all the obstacles and downs, and be ready for more and more decisions to make :D

Blogs!!

What is wrong with ppl ?! don't they know what blogs are? don't they realize they are on the internet ?!???
Well blogs aren't exactly a diary ? or at least that's how i see it. but i mean if you want to have a diary.. then have a diary :D have a notebook or have a file on your computer or have a one note document .. do what ever? but i just surprises me that ppl post stuff saying bad things about other ppl and they just don't think they're ever gonna find out?? What amazes me most ba2a is when they know the ppl they posted that about knew they said sth about them.. they are like " How did you know that ?!! " and they are very veryy surprised ??? what is that ? :D
i don't know what to consider that ? whether funny or stupid or juvenile or naive ??
well mostly it's just funny :D it's like they do not know this is the internet... which might be starnge to you but basically it means that anybody can see anything that you post on it :D
especially if it's on your blog :D
maybe this info was brand new to you ppl out there! but sadly that's the truth..
so face it :D
and don't be surprised the next time when you learn that sb knew what u said about them behind their back :D

N.B. exams ba2a da mawdoo3 tany!! ya reit kol el nas ted3y l kol el nas elly 3andaha exams :D

Another day!

El mohem ba2a ever had those many feelings inside you fighting and conflicting all at the very same time !!! ???? It's really tiring. Feeling bad good and nice at the same time hateing somebody and irritated by somebody and grateful for somebody and liking somebody and falling in love with somebody else !! Alll at the very same time and they are all fresh and they all occupy you, you don't even know which one to concentrate on or which one to try hard to get rid of .. It's like hearing this piece of information which instantly made you feel really bad and really good at the very same time, it's almost the same but only it's not a simple piece of info it's a whole loads of comment and a lot of people, and although this day didn't make me more irritated and disgusted by the ppl who already disgust and irritate me, it didn't make me more grateful than I already did, it also didn't make me admire or like those ppl I like more than I already do, but it gave me a very strange mix of all those feelings put together.. Made me realize that maybe there is no bad day or good day it's all a mix, I never really believed in this I'm in a bad mood thing I always thought it's for losers and stupid ppl who either can't control their own mind or are just lazy and super dependent on others to take control over their mind!! It's your mood you can change it, I know that there are reasons to be angry and there are reasons to be sad but otherwise don't give me such lame excuses or stupid comments. That day that I've been boring you about also made me realize how being a good listener can sometimes payoff, I realized there are other ppl who care who can listen and care to listen, that nagging and complaining are not the only way ppl notice there's something wrong. Can't say that it was a bad day, although it had some moments I really felt bad and hating some ppl, but I can consider it a good day, maybe I'm extra optimistic but this is how I like it, I like it with an extra twist, extra caffeine and extra chocolate, it just makes life a little bit better.

My crayons back please!!

Everything is almost tasteless without that person, that person whom you wake every morning hoping to see and talk to. You might not know that person quiet well, but still that doesn't make a difference at all, you still miss them like crazy, you still wake up every morning wishing to see them and have a little chit chat, you still see your life as colorful as new cartoon movie compared to your old tom and Jerry cartoon movie, you feel it's cartoon but missing it's colors. You just don't remember how your life were before them, all you remember is the colors they gave to your life, this fantasy world where everything is just settled by just having this little chitchat. Even if you don’t get to talk to them you just think that if you do, everything will be alright again.

I've been missing those colors for a while now, and although I'm not letting myself feel empty or feel alone I actually do, and that's what I hate most about loneliness, actually I don't mind being alone it's feeling lonely when there are tons of ppl around that really gets to me. I can’t believe that I've been going out every day and just getting very tired at the end of the day to the extent I just would lie on any chair and sleep, and still I manage to find the time to miss those colors of my life, I still manage to see my black and white life needing any ray of light to give it the shadow of any color, but it just couldn't, I don't know what this shadow could be, it could be anything, it could be a letter, an email, a message, a nudge on my msn, or even just a ring on my mobile accidentally or intentionally or whatever! I can't believe one can sound that desperate when they need some colors to their life.

And what's also interesting is that previously I thought those colors can be filled by characters, characters who know what it takes to be impressive, and colorful, but actually they don't. they contribute to give your life a little bit of illustrations and details, but they don't give color. I mean yesterday I met a friend and he's one of the ppl I really feel comfortable coz they give you that assurance everything is ok, I'm here, and therefore by default you don't have to worry and they just don't say it they act it which intensifies the effect to ten time almost, I'm not talking here about if you really can stop worrying or not, but it's just the feeling of being taken care of. These are the details they add to your life they add quality, they add a sense of security, a sense of care you lacked a long time ago; but yet, they can't fill the emptiness of those little colors which you desperately need to enjoy you cartoon movie, i.e. you're life..

I just want my crayons back, or better yet, you have the crayons, then plz come back and give me some colors!!

Feb 1 for the environment - dim the lights

I don't know if this is true or not but i like the idea of just reminding everybody of our mother earth and how we are treating it so badly and we just think "this small contribution won't do a thing," but actually it does.. i just think it's more powerful if we think of something which is not as clean as electricity.. at least it's renewable :D unlike many of our precious resources that we just misuse and over consume daily like oil, water, or gas.

"
Make our planet rest for five minutes!

Everybody is requested to dim his/her lights for five
minutes between 7.55pm
and 8.00pm on February first. This not only to save
energy for five minutes,
but to bring out a message that will attract the
attention of politicians
and
leaders. It is time for them to take action and avoid
the waste of energy.

During 5 minutes we'll give the planet rest: it
doesn't take long and it
won't cost you a thing. And it will make a statement
before federal
elections
that we as citizens want climate on the agenda.

And why February 1st?

Because on that day a new file from climatological
experts from the United
Nations will be published in Paris. Because it is with
our neighbors it is
impossible to let this opportunity slip! We have to
get attention to the
urgent matter of the worlds climatological situation.
If everybody takes
part
in this action it will have an effect on media and
politics that might have
a
real influence, this would be good on such short
notice before the (Belgian)
elections! "

You had a bad day :D

Today was one of the strangest days, I just happen to surprise myself sometimes . I don't know if I'm feeling down with no obvious reason than this bad mood that hits me sometimes.. or have it really been a bad day.. I'm an optimist, so let's consider it a good day with some bad complications and beginnings.. well id didn't start good in the first place .. it didn't start bad either, let's say it started normal with a tendency to be bad, I had an exam too, which wasn't bad but it was weird i didn't feel very good after it, didn't know exactly why i didn't do that bad. Then i thought i heard some bad news, I think he's not gonna be here next year. I don't know.. and another thing is that how could I not know ... how could he not tell me if it's something about him... i mean, WHAT?!!
and the thing is i kinda asked him before but i was just being curious, didn't think it would be him this time. I hate it, i hate that i'm not even sure what to think!! so that's the second thing, third is that i have an exam in less than 48 hours!! what's this high school!! also this creature!! well i don't wanna talk about that coz thank God i'm away from this.. i don't wanna mention it coz i get irritated and just pity her when i don't want to but i can do nothing but pity her... God help those with troubled minds and troubled hearts, that's all i'm saying here. Also my best friend .. the gap is just filling more and more i mean in a few months i will have different ppl differnt things or i don't know may be not, but my friend, they already do have new ppl, just reminds me of freshman year i thought i could never lose those school friends and we'll keep in touch but it's just hard you know, the things that are becoming not in common are increasing by the day!!
the thing is ba2a is that like 2 days ago i was really thinking this crush is about to be over it's on it's down curve now.. i don't know if this is true or not but i know the curve , even on it's way down it's much closer to it's peak.

well have to deal with the crisis and im feeling much better now, so gotta go al7a2ly kelmtein yenfa3oony in my next exam :D

Rabena ye3een el gameeeee3 :D

Stressed Out!!

It's Exam time....
i never used to panic before exams, but, well, things change.. it's just becoming too much, or I'm just becoming a little bit lazier every year. the thing that bothers me most or actually make me wonder and think that sometimes i really can stray and be this very irrational person, is why do i miss him, why i just need him to be here i know he has a lot to do and i know exactly what he's doing and i don't have much free time to think about him but i actually do!! why can't I be rational about him as well, I've always been rational about everything even how my heart works, i know exactly if that person is right for me of not, i know exactly when my heart goes wrong and accidentally falls for the wrong person. But now, all i know it's just a big mess, i don't even know what i want anymore. i know that when i'm panicking or stressed just the familiar voice of a true friend really helps, just knowing that they are there also helps although i might be almost sure they won't do a thing or help me do anything but it's just some kind of assurance that i need.
May be that's just another form of needing to be assured and secured!!.. I hope it's just that.
Anyway, bad timing as usual.
hoping everybody very good luck with everything , esp. exams ;)