It Hurts!!

It just hurts when suddenly you feel that nobody knows who you really are. Even your friends or your family. It's not that I live my life under disguise, or is it that I'm reallly that way they see me. Is it really me who can't see the truth; that I'm just good for nothing, that i'm just good at sitting around and having fun. I don't deny o like having fun .. and if it's fun then.. I'm in, but this is not what i'm all about. This can't what anybody is all about. i mean what is it, shouldn't i apply except for the vacant or left over stuff. they things nobody would apply for or dare to approach, and not because it's difficult or complicated, strangely enough it's because it's too damn easy or maybe can't be considered work in the first place!! Is that what they think i'm all about, or is it the truth that i never saw before!!
It's really so hard living in this world with no true friend.. a help.. a shoulder to cry on.. to tell them what you wanna say.. what you really think and know they would understand.. And expect that they would tell you the truth without being comlimental or judgmental.. just the pure.. Absolute truth.
I'm not playing miss understood.. But it just hurts to feel that you've never been understood or taken for who you really are.. it hurts to after so many years you finally realize that you've already been judged the moment you opened your mouth or actually the moment they saw you. No matter when was that or where was that let alone what the circumstances where. It hurts to know that anything you say will be just taked lightly even more lightly than you think. Just because you're not like them.. judgemental and criticizing all the time.. Cruel and distant.. plastic and phoney.. always pretending to be someone you're simply not just to impress the masses!!