It was a very nice day but after he left i really felt empty and i do remember how i felt i felt hollow and empty, felt that i need to be complete again. it's not always how i feel but i don't know is that a trend or what why am i acting soo weird?
I don't know what's gotten into me! Am i overreacting . Or is it me missing that feeling, missing attention, missing understanding, Oh i really miss being understood, i really miss good talks, and actually I don't remember ever having a shoulder to cry on. I miss a friend, a sister, a brother. I need a listener, somebody who asks the right question the right time, somebody who cares. or at least seem to care. just writing this brought tears to my eyes not because i'm in a bad mood, but just trying to remember when did i ever had a friend brought huge pain to my heart, as i didn't remember. I used to think i had a problem with me, but now seeing the ppl who really get attention and looking at the attention they get, i just refuse to be that stupid person who just babbles all the time, nags if they break a nail or complains for unspecified reasons in front of ppl they barely know about stupid stuff and because they are ppl who don't know they think it's big when in reality, it's really not. Whenever I see this attitude it just makes me sick, it's just soo lame. And looking from the other side, looking at the kind they get it just made me more and more hate that picture and hate those ppl and never want this kind of attention. Well the attention is as lame as the whining, they are just very stupid naive ppl who are just stupid follower, who don't think, i can't even say that they can't think coz actually i think they can, they're just too lazy to think, they have the fuss to babble about, so why think of another cause to worry about.
Well i never liked being pitied and of course every body would love to feel smart but i would better earn it not by a stupid way of giving the illusion of being smart and then disappointing those ppl and really make them think i'm not worth it. I hate those big mouths, i hate lameness, i hate stupidity. i mean if you're smart enough to make ppl think you're smart, then why the hell don't you keep faking it and start being it!!!
Yesterday i missed my show because of no friends actually i wanted to go and i could go but i had other reasons not to attend although i didn't get what i wanted, i mean he wanted me to offer but com'on, since when have the girls been the ones who offer, if the girl is the one who would offer then what is it that the guy should do, be the wallet, come on, i doesn't work out that way!!